A gentleman called Mark Robinson suggested in his blog the other day that The Arts Council should have a Director of Strangeness. http://artscounselling.blogspot.com/2009/10/should-arts-council-england-have.html I think that this is a great idea but it doesn’t go far enough. Why stop at The Arts Council? I think this is a post that should be raised to Government level. We should have a Minister of Strangeness covering all strange activities for the country. Of course, given the extent of strangeness that can be found in every walk of life, it may need a whole Department of Strangeness with senior and junior ministers. Now all we need to do is determine which areas of activity should fall within their remit.

Firstly, I would like to nominate all activities which relate to Jack Russell terriers. These are born on springs and bounce of the floor in the most disconcerting fashion. Secondly, I would include all the regional accents around Britain, which are strange to everybody except those that are brought up speaking in that way. Beyond this the department should be responsible for stamp collectors and those who note down the numbers off the front of trains, anyone who tries bungee jumping, marathon running or playing tiddly winks. It goes without saying that my Mistress should be covered by this department in all her activities. Perhaps we should give them specific individuals to deal with too, although I don’t think it would be politically correct for me to start describing the characteristics that cause an individual to be covered. Some call it diversity, but on the whole strangeness is just as good a word.

I think I’ll spend the rest of the day seeing if I can get the other main stream political parties to adopt this within their own manifestos so that it isn’t just a dream of the Pet Dogs Democratic Party.

Alfie Dog with a little help from Rosemary J Kind alfie@alfiedog.me.uk